


The Fall

by Hevean_73



Category: Supernatural
Genre: DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Drunk Driver, M/M, The Fall - Freeform, Xanadu, car crash, casdean - Freeform, deans just really sad alright, i was watching the vampire diaries while watching this, youll get what i mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 18:32:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10859670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hevean_73/pseuds/Hevean_73
Summary: Dean and Castiel were in a car accident, Castiel didn't make it out and Dean is stuck struggling to get over his lost love.





	The Fall

Dean usually didn't get up this early, only when he dated Castiel. He swore that guy never slept. Castiel would always be awake long after Dean went to sleep, and be awake before Dean in the morning. Dean would always wake up to the sweet smell of coffee and Castiel moving about the kitchen attempting to make breakfast. Dean would eventually come out to take over for him. As much as he loved him, Castiel couldn't cook for shit. 

Now Dean was left with a silent house. Sometimes he would sleep until two or three in the afternoon and not realize, or not care. Sometimes, on days like today he would wake up at five in the morning and go out side to watch the early morning glow.

Today Dean had gotten up at the early time of four am. He decided to take a walk, attempting to keep his mind off the fact there was no more smell of coffee, no more sounds of Castiel moving around the kitchen and getting egg shells in the eggs as he cracked them into a bowl. Just the loud noise the Impala getting hit by the other car. Dean swore he had never heard a more piercing sound. 

The other driver was drunk when it happened, but he had gotten away with everything. Castiel was dead and this bastard was still living his life. The man never even told Dean he was sorry or looked him in the eye while in court.

As Dean stood in the middle of the bridge leading to the park a few blocks away from his house, he watched the sun rise. He didn't know when he stopped, but he didn't know why he did much of anything anymore. 

Every once in a while if Dean closed his eyes and really concentrated he swore he could still hear Castiels voice floating through the wind. He deep hello that Castiel would always offer him. Sometimes Dean needed Castiels voice, to get him going, but today he just needed everything about Castiel to disappear. 

As Dean forces himself to move once again he walks into the park and goes to the bench, the bench where he first met Castiel after a long night of him fighting with his ex Lisa. At that moment he never thought what the next two years of his life would be, but even with all the hurt head never would have gone back.

Dean slowly moves to sit on the bench and watches the shadows of the trees fall as the sun rises higher. He almost looks to the left, he almost searches for the familiar dark hair on the top of Castiels head, but he holds himself back. He knew he wouldn't find what he was looking for. 

When everything first happened, Dean would go through days telling himself that it was a lie. That Castiel wasn't really gone, that he couldn't be gone. But as the days went by Dean eventually came to the truth that Castiel just wasn't coming back. 

He was just left in the summer heat, with no one to claw their way through it with him. 

 

By autumn Dean hadn't improved at all. It had been four months since Castiel had left him-Not left him. He had died, Dean still had to remind himself that Castiel was killed every once in a while, sometimes he liked to pretend Cas was still out there, alive and safe. 

At this point it was always to rainy to go outside, sometimes Dean did anyway but on this day his brother Sam happened to be visiting, along with his mother and father. Dean was sat at his kitchen table, dressed in Castiels favorite light blue sweater, watching as the rain fell on his window pane as Sam told their mother and father about Stanford and how him and Jess were getting very serious, Dean had tuned him out once he started talking about Jess. Of course he was happy for his little brother, he only wanted the best for him. But when ever Sam went on ramblings about Jess it only made Dean think of Castiel. It made him think of the crash and how Dean held Cas in his arms, begging Castiel to stay with him as Castiel said goodbye, as he told Dean to go on and have a happy life without him. Dean had watched the tears slip down Castiels face as the life drained out of the only person he had ever truly loved.

Dean closes his eyes for a moment, willing the thoughts out of his head. He takes deep breaths and the next time he opens his eyes everyone is staring at him. He watches them for a moment before standing up and going to the door, he pulls on his shoes and walks out, ignoring the calls of protest from his family. He felt bad, he knew they were worried, he knew they wanted to help. No one could help him though, instead Dean just walks in the pouring rain, letting his feet carry him. 

When his feet finally stop he's soaking wet and standing on a street corner, due to the weather the traffic was pretty much non-existent. Dean looks both ways before walking out into the middle of the street, looking around. This was the exact spot it happened. This was where he lost Cas. Dean didn't know when he started crying but all he was reduced to was a sopping, crying mess. He was left sitting in the middle of the crossroads running over the last conversation he had with Cas, how they were talking about eventually moving into a bigger house, as Deans house was just too small to accommodate the zoo of pets Castiel eventually wanted to get.

 

Dean didn't know when or how he had gotten home that night, but the next day he was pushed into the bathroom to shower, by a determined Sam, before being rushed to get dressed. He then was pulled out of the house by Sam and his mother to go shopping and 'clear their heads'. 

Dean was yet again dressed in one of Castiels sweaters, this time it was forest green and he was wearing Castiels clothes so much that he had noticed some of the sweaters were starting to loose Castiels scent. The moment he did, it his him all over again that Cas was gone.

He looks up when Sam calls his name, he had apparently stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, looking past his younger brother he suddenly see the familiar floppy, dark hair. Dean felt as if he were out of his body as he was suddenly running, pushing through people just needing to see him, just needing to feel him. 

At a point a tall man steps in front of him, when he pushes him to the side the persons gone, When Sam and Mary catch up and ask who Dean was chasing he just shrugs and continues walking. He had let Castiel slip away a long time ago, this was just another lonely day without him, no miracle could happen. 

 

Eventually Dean gets away from Mary and Sam, he walks back home, stopping half way over the bridge, he could have driven home, Mary and John had paid for the Impala to get fixed, but Dean hadn't been in a car since the accident. He watches the sun go down, once again attempting to push the thoughts of Castiel away. 

 

Dean had many dreams about Castiel, usually of Castiel telling him he loved him, or the other way around. Sometimes it was just memories with Castiel. This one was different, they were standing in front of the house. Dean starts to walk towards Castiel, calling his name, right as Dean is about to reach him, Castiel turns and walks down the street, no matter how fast or how hard Dean runs, he can never catch him. He's stuck, with Castiels blurry face, he's always too far for Dean to make out. Dean continues to call after Cas, but before he ever catches up Dean wakes up. 

Dean sits up, quickly turning on his light. He then sits in bed in shock, what was that dream? Was Dean forgetting what Castiel looked like? The way his face would light up at the sight of any animal or the way Cas would make a face when ever he would take a sip of Deans black, strong coffee. He couldn't lose the memory of Castiel. It was the only thing Dean had left. 

 

When Dean finds the picture of him and Castiel two months later he's stuck staring at it. Staring at the picture of him and Castiel,he notices every little the about it. The way Castiel had a wide smile on his face, his eyes focused on the camera and his arms wrapped around Deans neck. Dean was taking the picture with one hand, the other was wrapped about Castiels waist as he kissed Castiels cheek, a smile clear on his face as well. He looked so happy in that picture. He only wished he could get that back. 

Dean remembered the moment clearly. he remembered how they were at a fair in town and how as soon as Castiel had seen the petting zoo he had practically turned into the sun. Dean remembered finding it so adorable he just needed a picture of it, so he took one. 

Dean slowly moves to get up, he takes an extra long time in the shower before getting out and getting dressed. He goes over to the picture and looks over it for a while longer. Dean hangs his head slightly to inhale the smell of Castiel, His heart hurt as he did, he could feel it throb. Dean, for a moment wondered if he was having a heart attack, if all this heartache had finally gotten to him. When he was fine twenty minutes later he decided he wasn't. He sighs, taking that picture of him and cas out of the frame, looking at it a while longer before going into the kitchen, grabbing his lighter as he does. 

 

Dean stands in the living room a half an hour later, looking around the house, he could smell the strong fumes of gasoline and alcohol that he had poured throughout the house. He could have sworn he was getting high off it in order to have the balls to do what he was about to. Dean looks over everything one more time before taking the sweater off, leaving him in just a black shirt. He folds it and sets it on the couch nicely, just the way Castiel would like it, before gently kissing the picture of them and setting it down on top of the sweater. 

"I'm sorry baby, I'll see you someday, I promise..please wait for me" Dean speaks. His voice cracking as he turns away. He opens his zippo lighter, hitting it so the flame ignited. He looks over the flame for a long while. 

"Please forgive me" He says softly, before dropping the lighter, watching as the flame ignites. He walks out, looking at the spot where the Impala usually was, but he had given it to Sam. He didn't want the ugly reminder anymore. He walks down the street as the house continues to catch fire, burning away every trace of both Dean and Castiel along with it. 

Sam had been telling him for months to take the fall, to let it all go. He hadn't meant for Dean to burn down his house, but that was the only way for Dean to really, truly take the fall. He wouldn't have really given up everything any other way. 

As Dean walks away from the house he feels every piece of sadness start to wash away, like it was burning off of him. He had never felt so relieved. He would still miss castiel each day for the rest of his time, but he would not be held down by the memory of his lost love, not anymore. It was what Castiel wanted he he was ready to give his former boyfriend just that.


End file.
